Geekend

By Jason Dean

“You can't be serious.”

“Don't tell me you never gave it any thought?”

“No, I really haven't.  Is this the kind of thing that keeps you up nights?”

Scott ignored the question.  “Look, you're the Emperor.  You're trying to complete a new military base to fight off a a small group of insurgents, and you're already short staffed.  You have a group of soldiers on a planet below you that are there to protect the force field which, in turn protects your ship.  Why are you equipping these soldiers with a speeders which will no doubt cause a huge causality rate?  Seriously, those things are more dangerous then the people you are fighting.  I'll bet they had about 30 storm troopers a week who were killed or injured because they ran into something with their speeder.  Think how that depletes your work force.”

“Come on.  They're the equivalent of  a motorcycle in the Star Wars realm.”

“Motorcycles aren't used to go a couple hundred miles an hour over wooded terrain.  When the stupid little teddy bear stoled one, the acceleration force was enough to lift his body off the speeder.  Motorcycles are used on roads where you don't have to worry about a low branch decapitating you if your reactions aren't quick enough.”

Ashley shook his head in annoyance.   “They were probably familiar with the terrain.  They had no reason to deviate from the paths that had been created over time until some rebel scum attacked them.”

Josh, who had been silent for most of the conversation, finally pipped in “Why do I feel like I'm watching 'Clerk's'?  You two should be in black and white.  It doesn't matter anyway, 'Serenity' is going to kick the ass of all the new Star Wars movies.”

“So why have you been sitting in line with us for the last 4 hours to see Episode 3?” asked Ashley.

“Wanted to see the culture first hand” proclaimed Josh, motioning to the two impeccable replicas of Imperial Guard standing in line behind them.  “Besides, this being the last Star Wars opening night ever, how else was I supposed to earn my Geek merit badge?”

Ashley pulled a Mountain Dew from his pocket, and popped the top as two large men with light sabers fought their way past the line.  “You notice there are no three hundred pound Jedi's in the Star Wars universe; why do all three hundred pound people in real life feel the need to dress like Jedi's?”

“Yea, what happened to the cute girl in the Leia Slave-girl outfit?” asked Josh.  “ I could use me one of those.”

“She'd be better then Sally.  Have we mentioned how glad we are to have you back from her clutches?  She never would have let you come today.  She never let you do anything fun!”

“Yea, at least you know this chick would like the same things you do” Scott chimed in.

“So what's the plan for the weekend?” asked Josh, changing the subject.  “I have to work until noon tomorrow, but I'm free after that, and off Friday.”

“We're catching the noon show tomorrow on the Ultra Screen, then hitting Toys 'R' Us to pick up some of the new action figures.  You can meet us for lunch at the Noodles by the theater if you want to join us.”

“Sounds good.  I have to hit the gym after work, but then I'll catch up with you there.  What time are we playing Halo on Friday?”

Scott stood up from his chair to stretch.  “Julie's heading to her mom's at two, so I figured we'd get together around four, order 'za, and play until we can't keep our eyes open anymore.”

“Sounds good.  I 'm doing a Warcraft raid in the morning with some of my friends from back home, so afternoon until morning works for me.”  proclaimed Ashley.  “Have we found any more players yet to join us?  Three just doesn't work well.”

“Everyone's out of town or has plans for the weekend.”  chimed Scott.  “Josh, you able to come up with anyone?”

Josh shrugged his shoulders in his chair.  “Hey, Imperial Guard.  Either or both of you up for playing some Halo Friday afternoon?”

The two strangers behind them looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded in an approving fashion.  A mechanically altered voice came out of the helmet “Mind if I bring my my little brother?”

Josh looked at Scott.  “That would make six.  We have two TV's and Xboxes.”

Scott looked back with a gleam in his eye.  “Yea, sweet, I love fresh meet.  Annihilating just you two every time gets boring after a while.”

Ashley stood up, grabbing his chair.  “You better hurry up and give them your info Scott, it looks like they're getting ready to open the doors”

“It seems like a legitimate question to me”.

“There's 20 years between the end of this movie and the start of New Hope.  There are a lot of things that could have happened to R2's boosters in that time.”

“But I mean, come on.  He was basically using them as a toy in Sith, starting enemy droids on fire.  And” Scott continued taking his plastic cup and change from the cashier “he was owned by a Senator.  If something happened to the boosters, I think they would have had the connections and cash to have them fixed.”

“Maybe Bail's the one who had them removed.  Maybe R2 was zooming up to the top window to spy on the Senator and his wife when they were fucking.”  Josh said surprising Ashley and Scott.

“Hey man, how was that whole work thing?” asked Ashley.

“Dead.  I read reviews of Episode 3 all morning.  Let me order my food and we'll discuss the flick.”

The three made their way to a booth in the back of the restaurant, where they sat and discussed the film long after their food was consumed.

“Ok, so we all agree it had it's problems, but it did a surprisingly good job of tying up most of the loose ends, no matter what Scott would try to have us believe.” Stated Ashley, patting Scott on the back.  “So would would you rate this movie compared to the other Star Wars flicks?  Personally,I put it second, behind the original”

“The Original?  Everybody knows 'Empire' is the best of the Holy Trilogy.” Stated Scott.   “I put it fourth, behind Empire, Star Wars, and Jedi.  All the new movies are shit, but this is the best of them.  Not sure what happened to Lucas between the first 3 movies and these last ones, but it seems like they're made by completely different people.”

“Well, that's because he hasn't worked alone on a movie that wasn't a bomb since the original Star Wars.  Kershner directed Empire, and Marquand did Jedi.” responded Ashley.

“But he did do Indiana Jones”

“And how long ago was that?”

“I'm not disagreeing.  Josh, where do you put 'Sith' all time?”

“I think I have to put it third, behind 'Empire' and the 'New Hope'.  Gotta respect the original just because it was so groundbreaking.”

“Speaking of the originals, lets blow this joint so we can hit TrU and get back to my place to watch the Holy Trilogy.”

 

“Maybe you can help us sort something out Josh” came Scott's voice through the headset Josh was wearing.  Josh's fingers raced around the keyboard wildly as he ducked out of the way of an enemy attack.  “What did you think of how Mace was portrayed in this movie?”

“I thought they did a good job.  They made him bad-ass enough that he single handedly took down the Empire, and it took a blow from out of nowhere by Anakin to take him down.  Now, on the other hand, don't get me started on what they did to General Grievous.”

“Yea, no doubt.  So the guys from the other night called.  Actually, their little brother called to confirm everything.  Sounds like they'll be here around 5ish.  They gave their pizza order though, so assuming you want the usual, I'll call them in around 4.”

Josh's eyes focused intently on the screen.  “Yea, I'll have pepperoni and pineapple, but you know that.  Want me to pick up some Dew?”

“Sure, we got Coke, but variety is the spice of life.  You still up for real gaming on Sunday afternoon?”

“Yea, as long as I can borrow your Alternity books this weekend to create a character.  It's been forever since I roll played.” 

“No prob.  Just remember, the game is based loosely on Alternity.  We're only using the human race, no aliens.  How's the raid going?”

“Kicking ass and taking names.  Gotta run, I'll catch you tonight.”

“I mean, he's the Emperor's little protege, and they're working on him in a third world hospital on a planet that's entirely a city.  Meanwhile, Padme and the Jedi's are hiding out, and they have state-of-the-art facilities.” challenged Scott.

“Lucas was going for the whole Frankenstein thing with Vader, you know that” responded Ashley as he turned the doorknob to reveal Josh and a case of Mountain Dew on the other side.

“I get that...hey Josh, but it still seems ass-backwards to me”

“What's up guys?  Are our new friends here yet? “

“Not yet,” said Ashley, happy to change the subject, “but they and the pizza should be here shortly”

“I need to network the other Xbox.  You guys should practice up while I'm getting it connected.” proclaimed Scott in a cocky fashion.

Ashley and Josh didn't hesitate to grab the controls and flick on the the 50” television.  Before long, they were so engrossed in a game of seek and destroy with one another they didn't hear the doorbell.   

Ashley heard the giggle of a girls voice form the foyer.  “The 'za must be here.  I hear Scott talking with some chick.”

“Wonder if the delivery girl's cute?” asked Joss, never taking his eyes off the game. 

Before long, Scott and Joss heard Scott walk into the room behind them.  “Guys, would you like to meet our guests?”  The game was paused as Josh and Ashley turned to meet their new opponents. 

The room fell silent, and Josh's draw dropped.  Standing in front of them was about a fourteen year old boy, with shaggy hair wearing an Element t-shirt.  Flanking the boy on either side were two very attractive women in their mid twenties.  To his left was a cute brunette with shoulder length hair wearing an “Evil Dead” shirt and shots.  To the right was the most beautiful women Josh had ever seen; a thin redhead with short hair sporting a cut-off “Tick” t-shirt.

“Guys, this is Liz, her brother Max, and her friend Nya.”

The word for beauty is Nya thought Josh, unable to take his eyes off from her.

They all gathered around the TV.  Scott spoke.  “So here's the deal; we have two Xboxes  that are networked up, one on this TV, one upstairs on the small 27' television.  It's my house, so I get to be player 1 on the big TV.  Anyone want to volunteer to start on the one upstairs, or do we have to draw cards for the honor. 

“Being a guest, I'll take the other TV” came Nya's voice.

Josh knew this was his big chance.   “Well, to prevent Scott looking at my screen to get an unfair advantage, I'll take the upstairs box too.”

Josh swore he saw a smile flash across Nya's face for a split second.

“Oh come on, Firefly was way better then Enterprise.”

“Then why didn't it make it even a full season?”

“Because it didn't have the 'Star Trek' name brand to fall back on.  Well that, and Fox is a bunch of fucking idiots.”

Nya set her controller down after being shot with a plasma rifle “Firefly had the 'Cult of Joss' behind it, and it still failed.  At least Enterprise made it four seasons.”

“Ah, but 'Firefly' will be on the big screen this fall.  If 'Serenity' kicks ass, the sky's the limit.” responded Josh, firing his rail gun into the back of an unexpecting opponent. 

“You dick” came Ashley's voice from the other room.

“That's right” shouted Josh.  “Hey, you guys up for a break after this game?  I want to run to the store to get some beer before nine.”

“Yea,” came Liz's voice in response “I'm getting tired of whoppin' y'all anyway.  I could use a break.”

“You're only up on me by one game,” protested Ashley “and I'm winning this one.”

“So what do you think of our opponents” asked Josh, knowing that Ashley wouldn't bring it up.

“They're pretty damn good.  When I saw that they were...well, I mean when I first saw them...I just didn't thing they'd be that good at Halo.  They don't look the type.”

Ashley rode with Josh to the store.  Their mission was clear – grab some beer, more caffeine, and munchies for the rest of the evening.  “So what, because they're women, you figured they'd suck at video games?”

“Come on, how many girls do you know that are into video games?” asked Ashley. 

“How many do you know that would dress like Imperial Guard for a midnight showing of Star Wars?”

Ashley laughed.  “Yea, they definitely get cool points for that.  Always said that if I met a chick like that, I'd marry them.”

Josh seized the opportunity to continue talking about their guests.  “So did you talk to Liz at all?  Find out anything about her?”

“You mean besides the trash talking?”  Ashley laughed.  “She's a gamer; plays Warhammer and EverQuest.  Works at the library and is working on her PhD in sociology.”

“She have a boyfriend?” asked Josh, trying to help his friend.

“Naw, she was talking about how she just broke up with some guy because he paid more attention to sports then her.”  Ashley looked over at Josh, who was sporting a large grin.  “I know what you're thinking, but she's waaaaaay out of my league.”

“Oh bullshit you wuss.  You'll never know unless you try.  You should take a chance and ask her out.  What's the worst that could happen, she says no?”

“It's not that easy...”

“It is that easy.  Look, when we get back and start playing again, you two should play on the other TV. It's more private, you won't have to hit on her in front of her brother.  Nya and I can move to the big screen.”

“Speaking of Nya, what did you find out about her?” asked Ashley, eager to change topics.

“Apart from the fact she's absolutely perfect?”

“Um...yea.  Apart from that.”

“She's working on her graduate degree in English, and works for the local independent paper as a writer-editor.  She's originally from Seattle, but moved here for school.  Also, she slightly delusional, as she thinks Star Trek is better then Firefly.”

“She's right,”Ashley muttered under his breath.

“Fuck off.” said Josh with a grin on her face.

“But the Alternity system allows for cybernetics”

“Remember when we started making characters, and I said the game was loosely based on the Alternity gaming system?”

Ashley threw his his clipboard at Scott's feet.  “Well that completely destroys my character.”

“So make a new one, we're in the first week of this campaign.” said Josh, coming back in the room. 

Ashley picked up his clip board and threw Josh a cold stare.

“So Josh,” said Scott, “tell me how your date went last night.”

“Well, since we didn't get out of here until about 5am, we met late in the day at Barns and Nobel for coffee.  Sat there and talked for a couple hours, then walked around the store for a couple more, discussing books, authors and such.  After that, played some Mario Racing at my place, and she headed home.”

“Sounds like a perfect first date” said Scott.

“It really was.  We're getting together again Tuesday for the Arcade Fire concert.  I can't wait.”  Josh glanced at Ashley.  “So when is your date?”

Ashley's face turned a slight shade of pink.  “We're going out Wednesday, doing dinner and a movie.”

Josh smiled.  “See, I knew you had it in you.”

“Had it in me?  She asked me out, remember?” Stated Ashley.  “Thanks for forcing us to take the more secluded TV though, it gave her the opportunity to ask.”

“So are you two going to create characters before everyone else gets here, or just sit and talk about women all day.”  asked Scott.  “You don't hear me going on about my wife when there's games to be played.  Act like geeks, would ya?”